Today slots very nicely into the I-Had-An-Amazing-Day category. Now I’ll be honest with you tumblr, I don’t really have many files in that category. It’s pretty empty. Good days, honest to god good days are a rare event in my life. At least good days that are good from start to finish, from morning till night. Besides the throbbing pain in the back of my neck and my aching feet (they always ache, that’s nothing new) I am still feeling pretty chipper. I feel more attractive than I have in days. My skin doesn’t look too bad today, I’m in love with my clothes and more importantly I like myself. I like myself, how, how absurd.
I have an iPhone. This much is fact. I don’t honestly care what you think of it. I’ve had people try and talk me out of it. I didn’t care when the 3G first came out. I just went and got one. Sure it might have a problem or two, but nothing is perfect and I have been really happy with the journey I have had with Eli (the 3G) and am looking forward to sucking out is soul (I am backing him up now) and inserting it into my iPhone4. I’m already trying to think of a name for my new life partner (Yeah I am talking about the phone). Some might argue that as he will possess my old phone’s soul, he’s still Eli. But he doesn’t feel like Eli to me. Maybe it’ll be different after I restore him. Who knows….
Besides iphoneMania, there was shopping mania and hanging out with my loveliest friend mania and letting a little bit of weirdness seep into my AtWorkPersona. I kept squeaking “kreeeee” randomly. In my head I was pretending to be a pokemon. I really like pokemon.
Moving on, I have a lovely little to-do list notebook from Smiggle. I am kindof hoping that this will help me keep my head together, it seems these days, I am far too good at letting things slip from my mind, exhaustion won’t let me focus on more than two or three things at once. Working full time is hard.
As far as blogging goes, this is all from me tonight.
I think I need to lie down for a bit, that neckpain is getting worse by the minute. Still not letting it ruin the sweet aftertaste of my day.
whenn are we doing out meetup!?
i miss you guys!
Imma set a date. I just don’t want to do it during school times cause of exams and stuff but there are some coming up (not hosted by me) in the coming weeks and I will be there Freddie/Grady. SO WE CAN HANG AND IT WILL BE COOL AND I WILL MEOW FOR YOU. SO YOU BETTER COME AND BRING BLONDIE WITH YOU. (Please don’t be offended Jaimi, you’re adorable and I love you). ;)
In my head I paint pictures. I paint you into my life, sitting by my side, your arm casually around me, reading your newspaper, your coffee balanced on your knee. I don’t need to look at you to feel your presence. It reassures me. I paint mornings waking up beside you. You grunt and you groan when I sneak my cold hands under the blanket seeking your warm skin. You startle, you flinch and you roll over trying to escape. We spend our mornings giggling and kissing, playing silly games up an hour early than we need too, enjoying little pockets of time, lost in each other’s smile. It’s idealistic, it’s romantic, it’s us, in love everyday of the rest of our lives. I paint, I imagine.
“…and because you’re eighteen, because you’re still vulnerable, because you still don’t have faith in yourself, you talk a little fliply, a little too wisely, just to cover up so you won’t be accused of sentimentality or emotionalism or feminine tactics. you cover up, so you can still laugh at yourself while there’s time.”—Sylvia Plath (via sore-thumbelina, roadmaps) (via katelizabeth)
You’re lonely but you laugh. You’re sad but you smile. You pretend you don’t want to cry. You come home and your mother disapproves of how you walk straight into your room and turn on your computer, letting yourself be embraced by the internet. She wouldn’t understand why you have no friends and why it’s easier to confide in those you have never physically met. You are silent. Enclosed behind stone walls. She is a stranger to you, one you are forced to share space with. You don’t eat, not because you care about what you look like, but because you’re already too full, filled to the brim with a darkmatter. A sadness that never goes away. You’re not hungry. You feel broken. You know all the ways in which you were lacking. You wish you could die. You wish it would go away. You wish you could sleep the next fifty or sixty years and wake up with some answers.
I remember when I first saw you, I walked quickly down the street, trying to run away from my own shadow, racing my nerves. My eyes flickered everywhere, the sun the sky, the slanted concrete and always landed back on you. You took my hand, feeling brave and gave it a gentle squeeze. A nervous chuckle, a delirious smile, all the time trying to ignore the face that your hand fit mine in an unlikely way. It scared me this blossom of love in my heart. It threatened to overwhelm me. I was yours, long before I acknowledged it.
“We don’t always have a choice how we get to know one another. Sometimes, people fall into our lives cleanly—as if out of the sky, or as if there were a direct flight from Heaven to Earth—the same sudden way we lose people, who once seemed they would always be part of our lives.”—John Irving, Last Night in Twisted River (via wordpainting)
Maybe, just maybe you and I are just characters from two different chapters of the same book, binded by the spines of our backs, eagerly awaiting to meet on that very last page of a novel you never want to end.